Favourite Quotes

[Vilifier of Zombies]

I think about my father being called `boy`, my uncle being called `boy`, my brother, coming back from Vietnam and being called `boy`. So I questioned myself: `What does a black man have to do before he`s given the respect as a man?` So when I was 18 years old, when I was old enough to fight and die for my country, old enough to drink, old enough to vote, I said I was old enough to be called a man. I self-ordained myself Mr. T so the first word out of everybody`s mouth is `Mr.` That`s a sign of respect that my father didn`t get, that my brother didn`t get, that my mother didn`t get. ~ Laurence Tureaud

[AK Gandy]

- “I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people.”

- “Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you'd probably be able to get a lot of free games.”

- “If God dwells inside us like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because that's what He's getting”

- “I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might think you're having a good idea but it's just eggs hatching.”

- “My young son asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess I should have told him the truth - that most of us go to Hell and burn eternally - but I didn't want to upset him.”

- “Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared”

- “I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.”

- “If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while you're in there some guys come and seal up both ends and then put it on a truck and take it to another city, boy, I don't know what to tell you.”

- “When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.”


Jack Handey

They're so dumb, they're funny.

And he has many, many more.


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[Vilifier of Zombies]

Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power. ~ P. J. O'Rourke

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it. ~ P. J. O'Rourke

The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration, you're rich. ~ P. J. O'Rourke

[Bad Sneakers]

"They sell us the President the same way
They sell us our clothes and our cars
They sell us everything from youth to religion
The same time they sell us our wars
I want to know who the men in the shadows are
I want to hear somebody asking them why
They can be counted on to tell us who our enemies are
But they're never the ones to fight or to die"

Jackson Browne

[Bill Cosby]

An army of principles can penetrate where an army of soldiers cannot.
Thomas Paine

[serum114]

Nowhere else in history has there ever been a flag that stands for the right to burn itself. This is the fractal of our flag. It stands for the right to destroy itself.
Ken Kesey

[Libertarian94]

"Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful."
~Seneca

[Bill Cosby]

Doing what's right isn't the problem. It is knowing what's right.
Lyndon B. Johnson

[serum114]

Where justice is denied, where poverty is enforced, where ignorance prevails, and where any one class is made to feel that society is an organized conspiracy to oppress, rob and degrade them, neither persons nor property will be safe.
Frederick Douglass

[serum114]

I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around [the banks] will deprive the people of all property until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered. The issuing power should be taken from the banks and restored to the people, to whom it properly belongs.
Thomas Jefferson