Rush Limbaugh Unusual Disappearance
"Early reports indicate that an unidentified flying object landed last night atop the facility where conservative talk show host, Rush Limbaugh, broadcasts his syndicated radio program.
Limbaugh was in the middle of a tirade about Bill Clinton when he suddenly disappeared.
"We heard some eerie Manheim Steamroller tune, saw a huge flash, then some smoke, and he was gone. At first we just thought he had lit up one of his cigars. But then, when we couldn't find him anywhere, we feared the worst–that he was abducted by left wing radicals. Fortunately it was only aliens from outer space."
The producers learned of Limbaugh's departure from the talk show host himself, when he called in to his own program from a distant planet. Limbaugh explained to his listeners that a race of beings from another planet had apparently become frustrated after trying to call in to his show for years with no success.
Reaction to Limbaugh's abduction was varied throughout the nation. In a prepared statement, President Clinton displayed a subdued concern. "We don't like to see interplanetary abduction happen to anyone though it doesn't surprise me that his ideas are popular among beings with six legs and undeveloped spines."
Senator Ted Kennedy wished the radio host good fortune. "I don't think there's anyone in either party that doesn't hope Mr. Limbaugh has great success at his new, remote location."