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LadyMod at scam.com
04-15-2008, 03:35 PM
I bought a bird feeder. I hung
it on my back porch and filled
it with seed. What a beauty of
a bird feeder it is, as I filled it
lovingly with seed.

Within a week we had hundreds of birds
taking advantage of the
continuous flow of free and
easily accessible food.


But then the birds started
building nests in the boards
of the patio, above the table,
and next to the barbecue.


Then came the poop. It was
everywhere: on the patio tile,
the chairs, the table ...
everywhere!


Then some of the birds
turned mean. They would
dive bomb me and try to
peck me even though I had
fed them out of my own
pocket.


And others birds were
boisterous and loud. They
sat on the feeder and
squawked and screamed at
all hours of the day and night
and demanded that I fill it
when it got low on food.


After a while, I couldn't even
sit on my own back porch
anymore. So I took down the
bird feeder and in three days
the birds were gone. I cleaned
up their mess and took down
the many nests they had built
all over the patio.


Soon, the back yard was like
it used to be.... quiet, serene
and no one demanding their
rights to a free meal.



Now let's see.

Our government gives out
free food, subsidized housing,
free medical care, and free
education and allows anyone
born here to be an automatic
citizen.


Then the illegals came by the
tens of thousands. Suddenly
our taxes went up to pay for
free services; small apartments
are housing 5 families; you
have to wait 6 hours to be seen
by an emergency room doctor;
your child's 2nd grade class is
behind other schools because
over half the class doesn't speak
English.


Corn Flakes now come in a
bilingual box; I have to
"press one" to hear my bank
talk to me in English, and
people waving flags other
than "Old Glory" are
squawking and screaming
in the streets, demanding
more rights and free liberties.


Just my opinion, but maybe

it's time for the government

to take down the bird feeder.


.

Bill
04-15-2008, 05:09 PM
My only problems with bird feeders is they make it too easy for the cats to kill the pretty birds.

Had to stop feeding. Nimmys, our master killer, was leaving feathers and bird heads all over the front porch.

I'm not sure how that plays within your metaphor.

I'm considering moving the feeders further from the house, and putting them up higher.

I'm not sure how that plays within your metaphor either.

Never did have a problem with bird shit.

GreenHag
06-04-2008, 04:09 PM
This thread makes me miss my dead cats. RIP Spike and Lucky. They were great bird killers, I always got the trophies. One day Spike dropped a cute little baby bunny among the kids' toys. I was cleaning up the debris and I thought for awhile it was just another stuffed animal. GROSS when I grabbed it, but I laughed so hard!

Americanadian
06-10-2008, 11:01 AM
This thread makes me miss my dead cats. RIP Spike and Lucky. They were great bird killers, I always got the trophies. One day Spike dropped a cute little baby bunny among the kids' toys. I was cleaning up the debris and I thought for awhile it was just another stuffed animal. GROSS when I grabbed it, but I laughed so hard!


I have a cat you you are welcome to. Great cat that loves to kill birds. I had to put a bird she was torturing out of its misery the other day. A shame too, it was a pretty bird.

disrupter
08-01-2008, 06:52 AM
Government feeding your children & their civil liberties to the big ugly corporate vultures is the most horrible crime of all.

All those little birds are nothing by comparison.

BTW 911 was sponsored by the Pentagon.
Now you understand just how nasty & sick bird shit can be.

Scumbag
08-01-2008, 11:42 AM
The New Colossus

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,

With conquering limbs astride from land to land;

Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand

A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame

Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name

Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand

Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command

The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.

"Keep ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she

With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!

But, if they shit on my varandah,

Or keep me awake at night,

I'll shoot the little fuckers,

You know it must be right!

SeedyROM
08-01-2008, 05:06 PM
Wow, never a bird problem like that.

Birdseed has two purposes. I feed the birds on the ground and the birds entertain my Persian. There's no such thing as a free lunch. :D

Maybe more illegals will go home if they stop all the bilingual voicemail and customer service support?