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View Full Version : It's nice to see those Enzyte dicks get busted



Bill
09-22-2006, 03:32 AM
I hate those commercials, those crappy enzyte things, because, since I have more than two brain cells to rub together, I know they are selling complete bullshit.

But, finally the feds have caught on to the fact that these commercials exist and millions of stupid idiots who only have one brain cell have paid bucks for 25 cents worth of useless herbs and amino acids.

So, those slow federal types have finally arrested the owners of the company making a mint off of stupidity and fears of small dickedness.

http://www.cnn.com/2006/LAW/09/21/enzyte.indictment.ap/index.html

RawAlex
09-22-2006, 03:37 AM
I always loved their ads, because you coudl hear how darn careful they were with the wording, making reference to and leaving the impression that guys woudl get a bigger dick, with terms like a "swelling of pride" and "new respect from the neighbors" and "a happy wife at home". What they were refering to was clear, but they were very careful to say nothing more than "natural male enhancement".

They earned it, that is for sure.

john browning
09-22-2006, 05:24 AM
I personaly enjoyed the " Post War" 50's ambiance of backyard BBQ's and the attendant pool parties that made it possible for the donning of swimwear, the raiment of choice, to better show"Dan's" chemicaly enhanced scrote.
The golf games also provided "Dan" with the ability to further demonstrate his new found length off the tee.. A crude but effective sort of allegory illustrating the the total benefit for having a larger "Probiscus" of sorts..

I guess the guys at the FDA that tried it, and I known they did, must have been dissapointed. Thus the deflated hopes of sexual conquest led to the demise of " The Hope of Men with short measured Wands"

Poor mooks. It was funny while it lasted.

Tommy
09-22-2006, 11:56 AM
that stuff was really funny, i love those commercials
its only vitamins and they sold them as male enhancement

did ya notice those commericials seemed to be geared slightly towards republicians :taunt:
I always suspected that they had little dicks and thats why they are so against people having sex

its a terriable thing to say but if your that stupid you deserve to get screwed

video proffesor is another one

rule of thumb. never buy anything off of TV

Linkster
09-22-2006, 12:10 PM
There is another one that probably would pass scrutiny since most people dont pay attention to it - its for a product called Head On - Apply Directly to Your Forehead - one of the most inventive marketing campaigns Ive ever seen.
First off - they just repeat that message over and over - and never say WHY you should Apply Directly to Your Forehead - as a matter of fact on the packaging it doesnt say what it does either - because it doesnt do anything :)

But it sure makes money!!

Tommy
09-22-2006, 12:20 PM
Head On
ohh their new commericials are the best
some raggady looking person comes out and say how they hate the commericials but love the product

THE BEST ONE IS
is that lipozine ...shit
150 bucks and they tell you its not for the casual dieter
its much to powerful

these people must laugh their ass off all day

john browning
09-22-2006, 04:28 PM
:banghead: You guys are killing me! Video Professor. Head-On. Bhaaa!
What we need next is the "Ronco" dude hawking a pube-trimmer that recycles the detritus into pet food.

While I am no liberal I damn sure do not want to be lettered along with the mutants that are running things now. Damn Tommy you have confused me; I greatly approve of sex, believe women should have the right to determine their paths in regard to birth, and defend all free-speech: now I am confused.

Maybe some enterprising company can develop a cure for people like me-those disillusioned and disgusted- by six years of no political leadership.

Till then I guess I am the rube rubbing that "Head On" smegma on my block.

Linkster
09-22-2006, 04:45 PM
john - dont feel bad - it really isnt just the republicans that get taken on a ride on a daily basis - its most of the US :)

john browning
09-22-2006, 04:55 PM
Thanks Linkster, but some of you guys are smart enough to realize it long before others.

I learned the hard way it does not profit one to be myopic.

stefan segal
09-22-2006, 09:25 PM
John...two reasons why you can't be a republican.

1.) you have a sense of humor...and no repug would be caught dead laughing at anything but another's pain...and possibly the odd poopy joke learned and retold since schoolyard days.

2.) The notion of self examination. No repug EVER examines anything but how others fail to perform up to party-line standards to utilize as blame targets.

The smoking gun:

"Till then I guess I am the rube rubbing that "Head On" smegma on my block. "

Laughed my ass off:)

On another note, I think a great TV sales item would be jocky shorts that when you "get into the clutch"...and piss yourself, the impregnated crotch swells up like a fast motion Chia pet, and impresses both males and females with your package...great psychological boost, gets women hot and intimidates men...all for 19.95...and for those who use their credit card, a bonus gift of 4 ounces of KY lube...priceless when scoring at 10,000 feet.

Stefan

Linkster
09-22-2006, 09:30 PM
stefan - the nice helpful thing you should realize is that "personal lubricant" is actually one of the very few allowed liquids on the airlines security list so at least you would actually be able to legally take it to 10k feet :)

john browning
09-22-2006, 09:53 PM
Fucking chia-pet! WTF?
Man I'm still hurting cause of that crack. I may have pulled a teste cause of that.

No way can I respond seriously right now but thanks for the vote of confidence.

As far as being a republican.....I am way to far to the right of those imposters.

I value freedom from government. Live as independent from legislation as possible while still remaining loyal to the constitution.

To each his own. As long as one does not endanger others, so be it.