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View Full Version : You might be a Mormon...

MarkMiller
10-04-2010, 08:35 PM
1) if you have 6 thirteen year old wives...

2) your church ever massacred Americans on September 11........1857.....

3) you've been excommunicated for being openly gay and living with a partner...

4) you've ever been sent for shock treatment at Brigham Young University Utah to be cured....
serum114
10-04-2010, 09:17 PM
5) if you think someone translated the word of god by reading a majic rock placed underneath a hat
Sephiri
10-04-2010, 09:23 PM
...if your are Glen Beck? The new leader of the Christian Right?

:lmao2:
slowhand
10-04-2010, 11:09 PM
7) If you strap the family dog's pet carrier to the roof rack, and almost freeze it to death enroute to Canada
AK Gandy
10-04-2010, 11:14 PM
A lot of individual Mormons I know, are really great people.

Smart, generous, nice and hard working.

How they can believe their religious history however.........is a total mystery to me. :dunno:

.
AK Gandy
10-04-2010, 11:21 PM
How they can believe their religious history however.........is a total mystery to me.

Speaking of Mormon history....

On their quest to find a place to practice their religion, they stopped for the night and sent out their scouts.

The next morning, the scouts came back into camp all out of breath and excited.

They told Brigham Young that they had found the perfect place.

It had plenty of game, trees for their homes/businesses and best of all..........a huge lake.

The scouts told Brigham that they had truly found the Promised Land.

One of the scouts commented, "just think, we can fish and fornicate with our multiple wives.....for the rest of our lives."

"Fish and fornicate."

"Fish and fornicate" ....one kept repeating.

After a long pause, Brigham says....................








"Salt the lake." :lmao2:





No offense meant to any Mormons. :o


.
dsolo802
10-04-2010, 11:25 PM
A lot of individual Mormons I know, are really great people.

Smart, generous, nice and hard working.

How they can believe their religious history however.........is a total mystery to me. :dunno:

.Virgin birth? Seas that part to allow passage by the good guys - and drown the bad guys who are giving chase? Buddha baby taking 7 steps on birth and declaring, "I am the emperor of the universe." AK, what religion does not have its share of unbelievable crap?
AK Gandy
10-04-2010, 11:30 PM
Virgin birth? Seas the part to allow passage by the good guys - and drown the bad guys who are giving chase? Buddha baby taking 7 steps on birth and declaring, "I am the emperor of the universe." AK, what religion does not have its share of unbelievable crap?

Yeah, but those were at least developed over a period of time.

I mean shoot, how convenient is it to say..... "I was visited by God last night and he wants us to have multiple young wives, who will be totally subservient to our every need......and by the way, you'll rule your own world when you die if you do this." :doh:


.
dsolo802
10-04-2010, 11:37 PM
Yeah, but those were at least developed over a period of time.

I mean shoot, how convenient is it to say..... "I was visited by God last night and he wants us to have multiple young wives, who will be totally subservient to our every need......and by the way, you'll rule your own world when you die if you do this." :doh:


.Well, do you think it becomes more believable because it's old? It's all unbelievable stuff. And, btw, the whole multiple wive thing I don't have to tell you that is an oldie and goodie right out of the old testicle.
BlueSpoon
10-04-2010, 11:53 PM
1) if you have 6 thirteen year old wives...

2) your church ever massacred Americans on September 11........1857.....

3) you've been excommunicated for being openly gay and living with a partner...

4) you've ever been sent for shock treatment at Brigham Young University Utah to be cured....

:lmao2: Me thinks Mr Miller used to be Mormon.
MarkMiller
10-05-2010, 12:21 AM
:lmao2: Me thinks Mr Miller used to be Mormon.
Ah....BS....you were just one thread off!
LOL!:D :hi:
Moby
10-05-2010, 05:15 PM
Yeah, but those were at least developed over a period of time.

I mean shoot, how convenient is it to say..... "I was visited by God last night and he wants us to have multiple young wives, who will be totally subservient to our every need......and by the way, you'll rule your own world when you die if you do this." :doh:


.
Don't most religions have something similar at the base?

Heaven is your reward for doing what we tell you to do.
Heaven will contain a bunch of virgins for you.
You will be reincarnated as something better next time around.
serum114
10-05-2010, 05:46 PM
:lmao2: Me thinks Mr Miller used to be Mormon.

That makes sense, I guess Trinnity used to be a Muslim.
MarkMiller
10-06-2010, 03:28 AM
That makes sense, I guess Trinnity used to be a Muslim.
Something animatronic about this member.
serum114
10-06-2010, 11:36 AM
Something animatronic about this member.

My secrets out.
ocealdia
10-06-2010, 02:21 PM
5) if you think someone translated the word of god by reading a majic rock placed underneath a hat


Good one, that.:lmao2: