Pantene that Ween!

[ciaobox]

:lmao2:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/pantene_markets_new_shampoo_as

Pantene Markets New Shampoo As Best For Masturbating Boyfriend In Shower

CINCINNATI—

In an attempt to capture a wider share of the marketplace, the Procter & Gamble corporation launched a campaign Monday to rebrand its popular Pro-V line of shampoos as the leading hair-care product for women with dry, brittle hair who also wish to manually bring their boyfriends to climax while showering.

The affordable shampoo promises salon-quality looks and a frictionless orgasm.

"In addition to providing women with a luxuriant head of shiny, healthy hair, our new Pantene Pro-V2 line is ideal for vigorously working that special someone's member without the soreness and discomfort caused by other shampoos," spokeswoman Karen Radcliffe said. "With 20 percent more of the moisture-rich ingredients found in the original Pro-V formula, your hair will always look great, and his penis will never get dried out or chafed."
Print advertisements for the shampoo emphasize its nonslip ergonomic bottle design, as well as its availability in several different sizes. These include a travel size for conveniently masturbating one's boyfriend on romantic vacations, and bulk sizes, which according to the ads, are "perfect for that EXTRA-special man."

"If you have difficult-to-manage hair and a two-hander to contend with, Pantene Pro-V2 has got you covered," Radcliffe said.

In addition to a nationwide billboard and print campaign, a series of television commercials has begun touting the new shampoo's advanced penis-lubricating and hair-strengthening properties. One 30-second spot features a showering couple shown from the shoulders up, grunting and struggling uncomfortably while the woman strokes her boyfriend's phallus with a competing brand of shampoo. A split-screen animation then shows the shampoo's beneficial effects on both women's hair and men's genitals. The commercial ends with the couple opening a bottle of Pantene Pro-V2 together, after which steam obscures the two as the man evidently nears climax.

According to researchers at Procter & Gamble, Pantene Pro-V2 fills a consumer niche long ignored by shampoo manufacturers. Adam Jablonski, head of the team that developed the new shampoo, said many supposedly salon-quality hair products on the market fall short when it comes to providing a frictionless hand job.

"Pantene Pro-V2's hypoallergenic formula prevents the penile swelling and itching that can be caused by Herbal Essences and other shampoos with heavy botanicals," Jablonski said. "Additionally, there is none of the nasty burning sensation associated with medicated dandruff shampoos such as Head & Shoulders."

"And I hardly even need to mention the inherent difficulties of using exfoliating body scrubs with oatmeal," Jablonski added.

Consumer response toward the new shampoo has been positive in the 18-to-34-year-old female demographic at which the advertising is targeted. Jen Sandford, a 22-year-old student at Tulane University, said that Pantene Pro-V2 is now her shampoo of choice.

"I even bought the extra-soft companion chamois," Sandford said. "Jerking [boyfriend] Doug [O'Brien] off every single morning using L'Oréal conditioner used to be such a chore. But with this new Pantene, Doug's back to sleep and I'm off to class and looking great in no time.

[Binky]

Good grief! I am sooooo very happy I decided to begin reading that article. Ugh! I suppose ordinary body washes or shampoos wouldn't have "done the trick" would they? LOL! Pleeze..........:banghead:

[ciaobox]

Good grief! I am sooooo very happy I decided to begin reading that article. Ugh! I suppose ordinary body washes or shampoos wouldn't have "done the trick" would they? LOL! Pleeze..........:banghead:

they wouldn't! they just wouldn't!!!!

[Bill Cosby]

Bink........ Cia knows her stuff..........

She has probably run several "scientific" tests on her own............

[wayers57]

they wouldn't! they just wouldn't!!!!

Some of us like the friction, and if you sit on your hands until they are numb right before going it is like a new experience every time!:thumbsup:

[deadnun]

Some of us like the friction, and if you sit on your hands until they are numb right before going it is like a new experience every time!:thumbsup:

like wood on wood?

[Binky]

they wouldn't! they just wouldn't!!!!


:lmao2: Let me see now, hmmm, I just betcha a tube of toothpaste would've done the job. And gotten their teeth cleaned as well..

Yea for that image.

[Binky]

Bink........ Cia knows her stuff..........

She has probably run several "scientific" tests on her own............


Ah, I'm not going there. Thank you very much.

[Binky]

like wood on wood?

And I'm not going here either. :lmao2:

[wayers57]

like wood on wood?

YUCK, hell no, no tummy sticks:talktothehand:

[ciaobox]

:lmao2: Let me see now, hmmm, I just betcha a tube of toothpaste would've done the job. And gotten their teeth cleaned as well..

Yea for that image.

steer clear of those with baking soda.

[Binky]

steer clear of those with baking soda.


Yep, not the tastiest flavor on the planet.

[John Galt]

Damn...my GF's been using Lava soap all this time.


They neglected to mention that if the girl washes her hair first, and then Pantenes the Ween from her knees, she can save lots of money on conditioner...

[Mr, gone]

I was a big fan of Edge shaving cream before Astroglide can out!:D Yes Binky, I am one 'strange' dude...

[Binky]

I was a big fan of Edge shaving cream before Astroglide can out!:D Yes Binky, I am one 'strange' dude...


:lmao2: :lmao2: What's funny is the visual that floated to my mind the instant I read what you had written...

And yes, Mr. G, you are one strange puppy. :lmao2: I feel you have loads of company to keep you warm on cold nights.

[gOd]

New Pantene Pro-V2 — Extra Protein Formula

Sounds like something out of "There's Something About Mary".

[Mr, gone]

I feel you have loads of company to keep you warm on cold nights.

Unfortunately it's always warm here in Hawaii.:(

[Bill Cosby]

You can crank down that A/C to frosting 63 degrees.....

We have hot fairly dry summers but I am fortunate to live were we often get a delta breeze to cool off in the evening....

Once acclimated in the house @ 80 is fine for us.......... 82 or so starts getting uncomfortable...........

[ROdger Right]

I like the temp in my house to be around 65 little circle meaning degrees

but i haven't had the heat in my room on for atleast a year

[Binky]

Unfortunately it's always warm here in Hawaii.:(

I'd think it would deter the urge to "get all hot and bothered," so to speak, unless of course, you are basking in an air condit. room. Then who knows, anything could happen.

Here in Michigan, the temps run hot and cold. :lmao2: And makes for a much more pleasant experience when the cooler air floats over ones body rather than droplets of unwanted sweat......:D

[deadnun]

76 seems to be my perfect number this year; last year it was 74.
A few more years older and I will be like an old person with the house @ 80.

one degree colder and I have to get slippers and a sweater

one degree hotter and I am running for the ceiling fan,
then AC if that doesn't help.

[Bill Cosby]

LOL...............

Many of the ppl I know that are native Sacramentoeans are very temperature disoriented...

A good friend of mine has his house @ about 78 in winter but no higher than 73 in the summer??? WTF????

[Mr, gone]

Binky,

I was born and raised in Michigan. Many times I remember working up a good sweat under the covers, and then pulling them off to let the cool morning (or evening) breeze cool (us) off.:D

Since living in Hawaii, I usually wear my birthday suit when in the apartment. I have acclimated myself to this tropical environment, and am confortable at 75 degrees (I keep the AC on for humidity control).

[Binky]

Binky,

I was born and raised in Michigan. Many times I remember working up a good sweat under the covers, and then pulling them off to let the cool morning (or evening) breeze cool (us) off.:D

Since living in Hawaii, I usually wear my birthday suit when in the apartment. I have acclimated myself to this tropical environment, and am confortable at 75 degrees (I keep the AC on for humidity control).


:lmao2: Sounds a tad too familiar. :D

[ROdger Right]

Ill stick with no heat and a fan in the summer and no heat with no fan in ther winter.( Unless of course im trying to clear my room of smoke)

[wayers57]

:lmao2: Sounds a tad too familiar. :D

My significant other is from Jackson, MI so at 72 degrees she is on the couch right now with a blanket.

[Binky]

My significant other is from Jackson, MI so at 72 degrees she is on the couch right now with a blanket.


Not me. I like it below 80 otherwise it gets too humid and disgusting. I prefer it around 70. That's my kind of weather. I hate that really hot weather. Gross.... I can always put on enough clothes to keep warm, but never take off enough to stay cool. Naked or clothed, humid is humid and sticky is sticky...

[wayers57]

Not me. I like it below 80 otherwise it gets too humid and disgusting. I prefer it around 70. That's my kind of weather. I hate that really hot weather. Gross.... I can always put on enough clothes to keep warm, but never take off enough to stay cool. Naked or clothed, humid is humid and sticky is sticky...

Clammy is the word she likes to use, and then she made me laugh with "pop" instead of cola or soda.:lmao2:

[ciaobox]

you've all ruined a perfectly good perverted thread with your talk of weather and temperature!!!! :banghead: is nothing sacred?

[Binky]

Clammy is the word she likes to use, and then she made me laugh with "pop" instead of cola or soda.:lmao2:


I honestly don't know why people think "POP" is so funny when referring to soda. We've more or less pretty much called it that rather than the others. To each his own, I guess.

And Clammy is the appropriate word in describing the humid weather. I don't even want to be touched in clammy weather. :lmao2: Gross! :talktothehand:

[wayers57]

I honestly don't know why people think "POP" is so funny when referring to soda. We've more or less pretty much called it that rather than the others. To each his own, I guess.

And Clammy is the appropriate word in describing the humid weather. I don't even want to be touched in clammy weather. :lmao2: Gross! :talktothehand:

so tell me this, how would you say this word - berets

is it Bur-ets

or

is it Bar-ets

:lmao2:

[Mr, gone]

This last series of posts got me thinking about this great family guy clip on the word cool-whip. Enjoy...:lmao2:

lich59xsjik

[Marika]

This last series of posts got me thinking about this great family guy clip on the word cool-whip. Enjoy...:lmao2:

lich59xsjik
OMG that was priceless!:D

[wayers57]

This last series of posts got me thinking about this great family guy clip on the word cool-whip. Enjoy...:lmao2:

lich59xsjik

LMAO on a terrible Monday, thanks:lmao2:

[Binky]

so tell me this, how would you say this word - berets

is it Bur-ets

or

is it Bar-ets

:lmao2:


OK you Mr. silly ass, beret is a cap, ha ha. Like a solders beret. And barretts has two R's and two t's and are hair ornaments. Didn't think I'd know that did ya smarty pants?

[Hog Trash]

Good grief! I am sooooo very happy I decided to begin reading that article. Ugh! I suppose ordinary body washes or shampoos wouldn't have "done the trick" would they? LOL! Pleeze..........:banghead:I propose we do a consumer study, whata ya think Binky? :angel:

[Binky]

I propose we do a consumer study, whata ya think Binky? :angel:


hmmm.........that could be interesting. You go ahead and start without me. :lmao2:

[wayers57]

OK you Mr. silly ass, beret is a cap, ha ha. Like a solders beret. And barretts has two R's and two t's and are hair ornaments. Didn't think I'd know that did ya smarty pants?

I wife says Barretts too, the first time I heard it I thought she was talking about slutty women in the bar we were sitting in.:lmao2:

[Hog Trash]

hmmm.........that could be interesting. You go ahead and start without me. :lmao2: :taunt: :p :banana:

[Binky]

I wife says Barretts too, the first time I heard it I thought she was talking about slutty women in the bar we were sitting in.:lmao2:



You're an idiot, you goof ball.:lmao2: :D

[Binky]

:taunt: :p :banana:


Hog, you are a serious bonehead. Are all men boneheads?:lmao2:

[Binky]

Well, boys, I'm headin' off to beddy bye.....dreamland awaits. :lmao2: See ya tomorrow. Or, maybe not. In which, it's goodnight and sweet dreams.

[Hog Trash]

Hog, you are a serious bonehead. Are all men boneheads?:lmao2:Pretty much! :hammer:

[Marika]

The word Barrette for the hair, is also spelled this way.

[Bill Cosby]

I always thought, w/ few exception the folks in Michigan spoke just like "Americans= Californian"..........lol

Up in the upper peninsula some of them seem to have a bit of that "southern Canada drawl w/ a naZely twang of that MinnesOttA' don't yea know kind...

[Binky]

I always thought, w/ few exception the folks in Michigan spoke just like "Americans= Californian"..........lol

Up in the upper peninsula some of them seem to have a bit of that "southern Canada drawl w/ a naZely twang of that MinnesOttA' don't yea know kind...


Speakin' for myself, I speak where everyone should be able to understand and it comes of loud and clear......:lmao2:

[TitusPullo]

ive never tried pantene, but i know enough NOT to use a variety of other shampoos....that stuff irritates

[Bill Cosby]

ive never tried pantene, but i know enough NOT to use a variety of other shampoos....that stuff irritates

Welcome aboard............ :D

[ciaobox]

ive never tried pantene, but i know enough NOT to use a variety of other shampoos....that stuff irritates
PERT sounds like it would be the stuff the doctor ordered but...:(

also, "head" and shoulders does not translate to the nether head.

[wayers57]

PERT sounds like it would be the stuff the doctor ordered but...:(

also, "head" and shoulders does not translate to the nether head.

why have either, I like it dry most the time, it is a nice change up:thumbsup:

[Bill Cosby]

Speakin' for myself, I speak where everyone should be able to understand and it comes of loud and clear......:lmao2:

But w/out a Northern, MinniSotA, WissKAnSOn don't yea know, canadian O', mum talkin abOUT........

Ppl in the southwest & calif speak proper American... Like you...:thumbsup: